Well, I've let it mull around for a couple of days now and I still don't feel I have a clear idea of what I want my project to be. I keep thinking about my sons and what would be beneficial to them. Is looking up Russian history going to be of any benefit? Will it offer me any insights or characteristical traits? I do think the fetal alcohol syndrome and the RAD study will offer me some practical, concrete information to work with. I love them dearly but I don't know how to help them. At times they seem so distant, especially Valentin, the older brother. At other times they are so needy it hurts. I ask the Lord every night to give me the courage, wisdom, and understanding to be the father they need. I will start some research tomorrow, right now I am going to be a good husband and make my wife a nice cup of tea. One more thing though, in some readings I came across something by Carol Kuhlthau who writes about her model of Information Search Process and its components. One of the components of this model is the personal construct theory. Carol states, "Personal Construct Theory describes a series of feelings that are associated with the phases of construction. When a person initially confronts new information, he or she commonly experiences doubt or confusion. These feelings escalate as the person encounters increasingly confusing, sometimes contradictory messages. The experience can become quite threatening, causing the person to consider turning back and abandoning the new idea. " (Information Search Process…..2006) I laughed to myself as I thought she's right, I almost wanted to completely change my idea for one I was more sure on. No, I will be determined.